Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
