Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
