just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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