her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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