I look better un-naked...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
