So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize