She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
