Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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