were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
