question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
