She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize