Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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