she was so not down for the gang bang
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize