oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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