apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
