90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
