We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
What drink are we having for lunch?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
