I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
smell my finger.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
