So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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