Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i love accidental penises.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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