I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
