he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
