just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
