ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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