No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
