Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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