I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
