the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
