wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Randomize