That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
