worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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