I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize