Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
