Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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