I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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