if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Found the puke drawer
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I came so hard my ears popped.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
