I wanna bring you to show and tell
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
