i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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