What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
