Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
