get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
