Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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