Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
