I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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