1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And then the night went full on bisexual.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
