Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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