It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
