Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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