MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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