Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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