I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
