just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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