there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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