im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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