Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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