Fuck appropriateness.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
