WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
