He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize