He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
