Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
