More tranny stories later!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize